There it is… the secret to happiness! Flat abs and better sex, that’s what life is all about right? In today’s highlighted article Kate Bartolotta gives a very honest account of why flat abs and great sex are not the secrets to a happier more fulfilling lifestyle.
She talks about the fact that having great abs and great sex does not help you become a better person, it does not help you make a difference in others lives, and it ultimately does not fulfill you. Although being in great shape is extremely important and a great way to build yourself up mentally, if that is all you have in your life you will find that there is something greater missing.
Many people go out and have sex all the time, with multiple partners, with “beautiful” people and then they brag about their most recent conquest to their friends. But how many of these people end up alone, feeling empty because they treated sex as more of a sport than making it about love.
Kate breaks it down very simply into the following eight rules:
1. Stop believing your bullshit.
We constantly lie to ourselves about what we can do and what is “impossible”. Let yourself dream big and give yourself permission to believe that childlike voice inside that tells you that you are capable of anything!
2. Be happy now.
Every expert, professional speaker, personal development expert, motivational presenter, coach, teacher that I have studied and read about has included this in their teachings. This is all about, “enjoying the ride,” and making each day and each moment a wonderful part of the big picture we call life.
3. Look at the stars.
We all long to be a part of something greater than ourselves, to be connected with the world around us and people everywhere. Looking at the stars is just another way to get away from the hustle and bustle of day to day life, to walk away from the chatter that constantly clouds our mind, and take in the miracle of life and the wonderfully magnificent world we live in.
4. Let people in.
Life is all about connection, simply put. Don’t let past experiences keep you from allowing people into your life. By taking the time to really get to know people, we are then able to make a real impact on the world every single day.
5. Stop with the crazy making.
Philip McKernan says, “We are masters at two things. Complicating our lives and justifying why we’ve done it.” Life isn’t complicated at its essence, but we choose to add these extra layers of complexity and confusion to justify why we aren’t where we want to be or why it is someone else’s fault we aren’t happy. Let’s let go of the lie of complexity and embrace the simplicity around us.
6. Learn to apologize.
I couldn’t agree more with Kate’s point here. Real, heartfelt apologies that don’t include a “but” are one of the foundations to being able to be vulnerable and truly connect with someone. Don’t be afraid to apologize and work to make it better because as I said before, relationships are all we have in this world.
And keep in mind, this includes apologizing to yourself.
7. Practice gratitude.
We all have so much to be grateful for everyday but we choose to focus on the infinitesimally small, unimportant things rather than all the miracles that surround us. Everyday we should wake up thanking God that we are alive, that we are here, and that we have the choice to make it anything we want it to be! Start small, practice gratitude daily, and studies have shown your happiness will increase by as much as 25%, more than if you were to take so called “anti-depressants” and other drugs.
8. Be kind.
The golden rule, “Treat Others the Way You Want to be Treated”. To really connect you have to open up and be willing to give. Let your kindness inspire others to bring joy into the lives of everyone around them.
Although these principals may seem a bit brief or somewhat blunt, when you really analyze each one you can see the absolute validity that each one holds (for Kate’s breakdown on each one click the link below).
Today, take on one rule and embrace it, even if that means that all you do is go out tonight and stare at the stars.